Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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