every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I got her a Nickelback box set.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I'm at about main and main street
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
