Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
