I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
