Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
