White coat. Heels.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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