By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
