Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
