I don't think brook has ever known best
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
