looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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