flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize