Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
