I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Randomize
