You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
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