i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
These tits shall not be calmed
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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