love makes seman taste better
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
