are you so shy because you have an std?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Randomize
