if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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