I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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