They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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