I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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