I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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