Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
