After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
