I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Randomize
