I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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