Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
you are never too drunk for berry picking
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
