just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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