so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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