haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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