The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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