I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Im part way to drunk.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
