But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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