I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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