It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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