You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
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