I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
