i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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