I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
