who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
