I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize