If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
