Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize