I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I think your dad took our porno
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Randomize
