dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
