I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
We had to coat check the pizza.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
