we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
