He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
