Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
