Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
