Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
