He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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