It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Oh god it's open bar.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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