Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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