I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize