He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
