i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm both gender and math confused
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
