in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
