He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
