i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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