I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
