You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
