Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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