Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
