Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
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